Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Assist/Guide NOT Help

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Disclaimer: I understand the difference between the two. I'm going to relate the difference mainly using the context of this article in a non-emergency setting. If you are in physical danger, I will help you. This article is based on regular life and business scenarios.

Assist vs. Help. I know, I know...what is the difference. When you look at the definition of help it uses the word assistance. I'm going to put my own spin on the difference and the way I look at the difference between the two.

When I think of the word help, it is telling me to solve a problem. Physically and mentally I have to put full effort into it. It means the person asking for my help wants me to take over the problem and solve it for him/her. To me the person asking for help will not to learn how to solve it, if I have to step in and solve it all on my own.

Imagine if 10 people came to you and asked you to help them solve their top 3 problems. That means you have to take over their problems and get it to a resolution all on your own because they cannot do it. To me, it is saying they want to dump their problems on you or someone else to resolve because they don't want to deal with it any more. They simply will not know in the future how to solve a problem if they dump it on yours or someone else's lap.

The best thing to do is assist or guide them in solving their problem. If you lead a person down the right path so they can see how it is resolved they will learn from example how to do it. You simply cannot help someone with all their problems. The best thing you can do is guide them to the resources that will resolve the issue and support them along the way.

Ex: I remember when a lot of people wanted me to do all work on some of their investment deals when they first got in the business. They were looking to make money, but having me do all the work. Tony, can you do this and that and call this person and call that person. No, I cannot. If I spent all my time helping them by doing all the work, how would they learn. So what I did was I guided them down the path to do the deals by telling them what questions to ask and what information to get so they can go through the experience and learn by doing. As they got the information and relayed it back to me, I analyzed it and we kept moving forward. I didn't spend all my time working the deal myself, but gave them guidance to do it and supported there position.

In a business/investment deal, if I have to do all the work I expect 100% compensation, especially if you dump all the problems on me. If you approach me and say can you assist me with this deal and I will compensate you for it, it tells me you are willing to do the work seeking the proper guidance to close the deal. To me that is the difference. I don't have to put forth all effort in solving all problems, I'm simply guiding someone to a positive end result and they are learning by example.

Remember, a little bit of something is a lot better than a whole lot of nothing!

Happy Assisting!

Tony

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